“All right then,” Joshua said, “destroy the idols among you, and turn your hearts to the Lord, the God of Israel.” Joshua 24:23
I am going to confess here to an idol I struggle with that I think a lot of moms today struggle with. This idea of "me time." I know that there are benefits from getting out and refreshing yourself. Whether that be with exercise, friends, a date with the Husband, anything really. But it becomes a problem when you feel like you can't function in your home until you get one. Well that has been me. Since moving to the country I no longer go out 3-5 nights a week to work out. I do it in my home. And for me its the whole getting out of the house with no kids that helps me reboot. It is harder to do that now. So when you combine sick kids, visiting family and holidays I have been feeling like I need a break. And even though its true, I have started to worship the idol of needing some "me time."
They worshiped their idols, which led to their downfall. Psalm 106:36
Well this is me right now. I am worshipping my idol and am not functioning in my home the way God has called me. My kids are suffering, my husband is suffering, my friendships are suffering. And most importantly my relationship with God is suffering-greatly.
I have a place to go other than reboot in a worldly way. Because I have been feeling overwhelmed-stressed-suffocated- I have been walking away from the one that gives me all my strength and sustenance and instead been moping-complaining-getting angry. Why I do this... well because I'm still living in my sinful fallen body and yet wanting the new world! It's really the whole Romans 7 Struggle that Paul addresses:
So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[d] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power[e] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
It is not easy to do this. To say I'm not gonna mope and complain about my "hard" life (not really that hard- the real problem is my discontent heart.) But I am thankful that God loves me where I'm at and is there to help me move out of myself and closer to Him. Boy, I can't tell you how often I am SO thankful that he doesn't get as angry with me when I screw up AGAIN, like I do with my kids. His unconditional love blows me away. I pray it never stops moving me.
Though the nations around us follow their idols, we will follow the LORD our God forever and ever. Micah 4:5
So today, through God's prodding, I am going to pray for a change of heart. I am going to beg for His power to work through this day with a cheerful, gracious, loving heart. I want Him to shine through me today. Please know, that it is nothing in myself (because I am pretty ugly inside) that allows me to be a good Momma, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Friend. It is only God's grace changing me, moment by moment that I am the person I am today. PRAISE HIM!!!
