Breaking down idols

“All right then,” Joshua said, “destroy the idols among you, and turn your hearts to the Lord, the God of Israel.” Joshua 24:23

I am going to confess here to an idol I struggle with that I think a lot of moms today struggle with.  This idea of "me time."  I know that there are benefits from getting out and refreshing yourself.  Whether that be with exercise, friends, a date with the Husband, anything really.  But it becomes a problem when you feel like you can't function in your home until you get one.  Well that has been me.  Since moving to the country I no longer go out 3-5 nights a week to work out.  I do it in my home.  And for me its the whole getting out of the house with no kids that helps me reboot.  It is harder to do that now.  So when you combine sick kids, visiting family and holidays I have been feeling like I need a break.  And even though its true, I have started to worship the idol of needing some "me time." 

They worshiped their idols, which led to their downfall.  Psalm 106:36

Well this is me right now.  I am worshipping my idol and am not functioning in my home the way God has called me.  My kids are suffering, my husband is suffering, my friendships are suffering. And most importantly my relationship with God is suffering-greatly.  

I have a place to go other than reboot in a worldly way.  Because I have been feeling overwhelmed-stressed-suffocated- I have been walking away from the one that gives me all my strength and sustenance and instead been moping-complaining-getting angry.  Why I do this... well because I'm still living in my sinful fallen body and yet wanting the new world!  It's really the whole Romans 7 Struggle that Paul addresses:

 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. ¹⁶ But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

¹⁸ And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[d] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. ¹⁹ I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. ²⁰ But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹ I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. ²² I love God’s law with all my heart. ²³ But there is another power^[e] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.²⁴ Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

It is not easy to do this.  To say I'm not gonna mope and complain about my "hard" life (not really that hard- the real problem is my discontent heart.)  But I am thankful that God loves me where I'm at and is there to help me move out of myself and closer to Him.  Boy, I can't tell you how often I am SO  thankful that he doesn't get as angry with me when I screw up AGAIN, like I do with my kids.  His unconditional love blows me away.  I pray it never stops moving me.  

Though the nations around us follow their idols, we will follow the LORD our God forever and ever. Micah 4:5

So today, through God's prodding, I am going to pray for a change of heart.  I am going to beg for His power to work through this day with a cheerful, gracious, loving heart.  I want Him to shine through me today.  Please know, that it is nothing in myself (because I am pretty ugly inside) that allows me to be a good Momma, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Friend.  It is only God's grace changing me, moment by moment that I am the person I am today.  PRAISE HIM!!!

"Give Them Grace"

I have been recently been feeling a "new" tug from God.  I have been feeling like my Faith needs to be more Christ centered and less Works centered.  Now I never would have said my faith was works centered, but what I was trying to get/learn from the bible was more How-to and less Jesus.

But God has been showing me that if I wanna know what to do in every situation, I need to look to Jesus. Not just as the Supreme example, but as my Source!

One specific area this perspective has changed greatly is my childrearing.  I found myself frantically trying to find ways, tips, advice on how to raise my children so that they had the best chance of being saved as they got older.  So because I was coming at it from the angle of "My acts save my children" or at least play the biggest role, I was going about parenting all wrong.  And I was living in an almost crippling fear that every time I screwed up, which is WAY more than I can count and probably even know, I was crushing their chances to be saved.  In all I do as a parent, my greatest goal is their salvation.  I want them to know the love of Jesus, so rich and so full, and His power for our lives.

So how did this look in everyday parenting?  It may not seem so bad- especially compared to how the world might parent- but it is light years away from how God really calls me to parent.

I would recite Scriptures to my children, as if these Laws of the Scripture would motivate them to obey.  Tell me- when does a law motivate you to obey???  Now I am NOT saying you should never quote Scripture to your children in the midst of their sin or even in an encouragement.  But it CANNOT STAY THERE.  The Law is meant to crush us and our utter inability to keep it.  This is then supposed to THROW us to Christ.  But I wasn't showing that to my kids.

So now instead of just saying,

 "Bella, Love is..."

Bella: "kind" (1 Corinthians 13:1)

I now then say "Now God expects you to be kind, and its really hard.  That's why we need Jesus. He was kind when we couldn't be, and he will help you be kind if you ask him to."  We then usually pray.  If she wants to I let her.  But if not I will pray for her.  I will pray the Gospel message so she can hear it even more.

I was also damaging the power of the Gospel and Love of Christ, by not accepting my own failures and expressing my need of Jesus in the midst of them.  I had this faulty view that by failing I was showing my kids that Jesus isn't big enough to help you.  Oh how twisted we make things.  NO, by my failure I can show them that God loves me if I'm Bad or Good and He GAVE ME JESUS.  I can show them that my faith is not dependent on how well I parent them (obey) but on Christ's blood and righteousness.  

So when we had devotions at breakfast, we talked about being thankful in all things and what Christ has to do with that.  When we prayed I asked God to save the children from their sins, then I asked that God would save me from my sins today and I became overwhelmed with His unconditional love for us and began to cry.  Bella saw mommy crying because of how much God loves her.  Now that is a beautiful picture for Bella to see.

Now to give credit where credit is due.   The Lord has used several books to help me see these truths.  "Loving the Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic is so practical in everyday experiences and gives you specific words and ways to express these things.  "Give Them Grace" by Elise Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson will change you and your perspective on parenting.  My husband and I have been going through this book and we aren't even that far yet but it has been Christ centering.  And finally I have been going through a devotional "Just like Jesus" by Max Lucado.

May we love and live like Jesus.

Thankful for my Stubborn Child

So out of my 3 children, I have one that is particularly difficult.  The moment something is not their way, there is an immediate, usually full blown fit.

This entails screaming, throwing themselves on the floor, hitting the offender, flailing and so on.

As this happens SEVERAL times throughout the day (as this is the only way the child knows how to deal with their emotions at this point) there is a lot of disciplining and correcting.  But this also allows WAY more opportunities of pointing this child to Christ then my other children.

Yes, I often FAIL and don't correct them with the right motives, or the right way.  BUT what I am thankful for is as I finish the correction and I say to my child, "I love you and I hate to see you sin honey- it breaks my heart."  I often end up crying a little because I see the absolute struggle for them and my heart breaks because I know how hard of a battle this will be for them as they get older.

I desperately want to take away the deep struggle they face, and then as I think about those feelings of love and compassion I have for that child in the midst of those constant battles they face, I think about how every time I stubbornly disobey -kick and scream like a little child- my Heavenly Father weeps over me and lovingly disciplines me.

I would have NEVER understood the DEPTH of this love He has for us if it wasn't for my Stubborn Child.

So yes it makes for a difficult day, and I often would trade anything for a more pleasant child (usually when my focus is on me and not Christ's love and goals for us)  BUT I am so thankful for just another little glimpse into the depth of God's love for us!

Being a Sweet Aroma of Christ

Wow, today was one of those days where you come to the end and you start to cry.

Not because of how badly behaved the kids were.  Not because of how hard the day was for you.  But because of how badly you failed in those hard moments - and failed over and over and over again....

It doesn't really matter why the day was hard, what matters is that in my children's weakness I did not show love or grace.  This is especially hard for me right now because I have really been convicted and striving to be an aroma of Christ in very specific areas of life that I have been failing or misinterpreting at.


I read this post about how a son told a story about how
       "Parents are the first view of God kids will ever see."

Since reading this post I have really been thinking about this, not just in parenting but other facets of life...

    Friendships...
    Marriage...
    Being a woman in charge of events at my church....
    Familial relationships...



Then I have been going through Proverbs 31 in my devotions via GoodMorningGirls.org.  And wouldn't you know the verses we are focussing on this week are Proverbs 31:26

Other verses we are focusing on:

Proverbs 12:18

   Some people make cutting remarks,

    but the words of the wise bring healing.

Ephesians 4:29

   Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

1 Timothy 3:11

   In the same way, their wives must be respected and must not slander others. They must exercise self-control and be faithful in everything they do.

Proverbs 15:1

   A gentle answer deflects anger,
    but harsh words make tempers flare.

I have wept and pleaded for forgiveness through my devotions this week.

I have seen that if I want my kids to love Jesus, I should respond like  Jesus.  Have you studied JESUS?  He is incredible!  His love for others and for GOD is breathtaking.  I want to be like him.  I truly believe that I can look in the Bible ONLY and know how to parent, be a friend, wife, sister, leader, daughter and so on.  If I love like Christ...

I tear up as I write this, because I am so overwhelmed by His Love

...then these relations will see Christ, not me. HALLELUJAH!

Time Tested Beauty Tips

Time-Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

--Sam Levenson

1 Peter 3:3-4

New Living Translation (NLT)

³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. ⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

Speak their Language

Ok so this was in my mailbox today, so I am literally just copying and pasting.  But I thought this was such a valuable idea, that even though I am not there yet for my kids, I want to do this when we get there.  I want to encourage those of you who are, PLEASE don't forget your kids, no matter their age!  You show them you love them and your love them for who they are by doing things like this.

May 18, 2012 Speaking Their Language By Melissa Taylor

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6 (NIV 1984)


"I'm not joining Facebook and I'm not texting you. Don't text message me either. If you want to tell me something, you'll have to speak to me! You kids don't know how to have conversations anymore."


"But Grandpa, you are missing out on so much in my life."


The grandpa's scowl said it all: "I don't care."


This conversation, which I overheard, haunted me for days. I bet Grandpa did care. He just didn't know how to relate to his granddaughter, and new technology probably scared him. I admit it scared me at first too. I'm not fond of change.


When my children were younger, breakfast time consisted of a meal, devotion, and Bible-reading together. I didn't work outside the home like I do now, so I had more time in the morning.


Now I have to make sure the kids are ready, and I am too! There are six people running around, fighting for two bathrooms, grabbing a quick bite to eat, and racing out the door. I miss the intentional time spent teaching my children what I consider most important: God's Word.
Watching my now-teenaged son text message at lightning speed on his cell phone one evening, I wondered: Would it make a difference if I texted my kids a Bible verse each day? I dismissed the thought, thinking it silly to send a text when they should be reading God's Word for themselves.


Then I thought of Grandpa, his refusal to his granddaughter, and her reply. I didn't want to miss out like he was.


Texting my kids a verse each day may not radically change their lives, but then again it might. I wondered, would Jesus text if He were here today?


While on earth, Jesus used language that His audience understood, depending on where He was and the culture of that area. His purpose and message did not change, but His delivery and presentation sometimes did. Jesus reached people where they were. He walked, rode, sailed, and taught at homes, hillsides, banquets, and dinner tables.


It's been a year now since I've started texting Bible verses to my children. Usually I get a response like "thanks" or no response at all, but sometimes I'll receive a verse back. I send them the same verse so, if the opportunity arises, we can talk about it together.


Texting connects with my children because I'm speaking their language. The message hasn't changed, but for the purpose of effectiveness the delivery has, for me and my kids. And much to my delight, sometimes they forward the verse to a friend or two.


Texting may not be my favorite way to communicate, but if it ministers to my children, I don't want to miss it. It's just one more way I can continue to "train up" my children.


This week, let's be on the lookout for new ways we can share God's Word by speaking our kids language.


Dear Lord, change is hard for me, but if there is a way You'd like for me to change for the sake of another, then I will try. With Your help all things are possible. In Jesus' Name, Amen.


Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?
Building a Bridge to Your Child's Heart (CD) by Lynn Cowell
Visit Melissa's blog and find out how you can receive Melissa's "Top 10 Ways to Connect with Your Children."
Reflect and Respond:
Think of one way you can better connect with someone in your life.
Are you stubborn like Grandpa or willing like Jesus?
Power Verses:
Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. (NIV)
Proverbs 31:28-29, "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'" (NIV)

© 2012 by Melissa Taylor. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
www.Proverbs31.org

Training in Grace

Recently I have been convicted and somewhat confused as to what it meant to give grace to your children.  I was thinking, young children don't need grace, they need discipline.  Otherwise its sends confusing messages to them as to when they need to obey and when its ok to do what they are doing.  So I thought, well I guess grace comes later.

Well God has been showing me on the side how he has been showing me grace on a day to day basis.  I started to realize that He doesn't stop from disciplining me, but he shows me grace in how he disciplines me.  He doesn't give me the full punishment of what I deserve - death.  He doesn't yell or become frustrated with me when for the umpteenth time I've had a complaining spirit (like my daughter, wonder where she got that from!) 

Romans 5:20

New Living Translation (NLT)

²⁰ God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant.

So I began to realize that that is how I am to be gracious to my children.  Instead of getting annoyed and tired of the complaining or arguing.  I need to respond in love and grace and TRAIN my children in the moment.  There is a difference between teaching and training.  I always new this and have actually been practicing this in our home, but it really was made clear when reading this post from Woman Living Well blog.  As she writes:

Teaching is giving my children the information they need to succeed. 

But training is giving my children the discipline to carry out what they have been taught.

So yes I discipline for disobedience.  But when they are not responding correctly to life situations, I show grace by not becoming angry that he have done it AGAIN.  But instead train them in how they should have responded.

I pray that God will give me just an ounce of the grace that he shows me.

Ephesians 2:7

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁷ So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.